Anyone who knows me personally has just picked their jaw off the floor as they clicked the link to learn more….so now that you are here; let’s talk about my situation.
I have been doing some in-depth soul searching as I come to grips with the realization that I am expecting – I am expecting myself and others to behave in certain ways. I know….not what you thought you were going to be reading about but stick around and read to the end.
I spend too much time on social media sometimes (okay often).
I like to see the pictures of children, yummy food recipes, and pink sunrises but I most enjoy the uplifting and encouraging posts.
You know the ones that have quotes like “You only have so much emotional energy each day. Don’t fight battles that don’t matter.” by Joel Osteen.
Or the Dalai Lama offering “We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us, and make us kinder. You always have the choice.”
The one that poked me hard recently was “Never expect things to happen, it’s better to feel surprised than to feel disappointed” (I don’t know the author or where this statement originated).
Staying true to my default mode of operation, I immediately began to analyze this statement word by word.
Let’s take it from the top –‘Never expect things to happen…’ – I think the ‘over plan’ rung in my DNA helix has been replicated and reinforced with steel. I absolutely expect ‘things’ to happen. I expect other drivers to obey the rules of the road. I expect my car to start every time. I expect people to be kind and helpful. I expect that I will over plan and over scrutinize the travel itinerary.
For me, this mode of expectancy leads to anticipation of potential ‘things’ to happen. Schedule the early flight just in case it is delayed or over booked, you may still then be able to get on the next flight and still make it home today. You get the idea, I expect and anticipate.
With my common sense and logic on board, I expect The Universe to support me as ‘things happen’.
Then we have ‘…it’s better to feel surprised…’. Well that is a delightfully terrifying prospect to those of us that have a schedule to keep and not a moment to spare. Even the ‘surprise’ offer of lunch with a long-time friend can throw the day into a tail spin. Surprise – you have a flat tire or shingles or a trip to the emergency room….not all surprises are created equal.
And to close out the statement we have ‘…than to feel disappointed’. Have you ever felt the depth of a significant disappointment? It is frustrating, hurtful, and sad. But is it really worse than a surprise?
Some of the biggest ‘disappointments’ I can remember have been divinely guided interventions. Not getting the job I so wanted in California more than fifteen years ago brought me back to PA.
Relationships that end can be another challenge but when I think back to the ones that disappointed me the most helped me grow the most. This is not meant to diminish the feelings in the throes of disappointment. For me however, I have found that disappointment is not better or worse than a surprise.
I believe that my interpretation of ‘expect’ is to anticipate.
When I expect, I am teaching others how I wish to be treated and what boundaries are in place when interacting with me. If I expect nothing from myself or anyone else, I am certain that is exactly what I will get…no ‘thing’.
I am expecting –
My amazing daughter that is about to enter high school, I expect that you will do the best you can academically, find/keep a trusted group of friends that support each other and laugh often.
To my family, I expect that we will be there for each other – a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold each other up and pom-poms shaking as we cheer each other on.
To all those that I come in contact with, I expect that I will be as real and honest as I am able in the moment. I expect that some days will be better than others. I expect that we will share many laughs and hugs for as long as we may journey together.
I am ‘expecting’ that I will remain open to the beautiful surprises The Universe has to offer as I embrace disappointment and the teaching moments it offers. When we release the need to classify ‘things’ as bad or good, we can truly be in the moment and appreciate all that is.
Are you expecting or prefer to be surprised?
What is your favorite uplifting quote or statement?
If you are ready to explore your expectations in a safe and caring environment, join me in Gettysburg or Bellefonte, PA for a full weekend of self-care and exploration. Check them out here: https://www.inspiredholisticwellness.com/training/
Blessings to you for all the very best.